Friday, April 27, 2012

Okay people...

...I'm disturbed by my audience and where a significant percentage of them are coming from.  So let's take a page out of Munchkin Wrangler's book, only with more mockery and less helpfulness.

"Orphan porn" - Really?  I'm just a little squicked by this, because the word "orphan" in that context makes me think of Annie.  I'll be generous and assume you're fine with adult orphans, although at that point it's kind of like preferring Jewish porn, which in the US at least is going to be largely indistinguishable from anything else.  Unless they do something weird with a Star of David.  Don't want to know, don't want to know, don't tell me.

"Alcohol abuse blog" - When I'm not on a diet, this blog could probably be a case study, but the fact that I have no issue giving up alcohol to lose weight suggests this isn't the place for you.

"affirmative action for orphans" - I'm curious who was looking this up and why.  I don't believe parentage is something companies put in their standard question form.  If somebody is, they're probably looking to -make- some of the aforementioned orphan porn.

"most boring topics of conversation" - You've come to the right place.  You don't really want to go out with that girl/guy on Tuesday, do you?  Well, have no fear.  Memorize any one of my posts and start spouting it off without giving them a chance to respond and I guarantee you'll wriggle out of any future dates.  I recommend one with lots of cussing.

"misogyny misanthropy" - In my experience misogyny is merely mislabeled misanthropy.  Men and women who hate women generally hate men as well, they just hate them differently, but when you hate men for stereotypical reasons you're just supporting the patriarchy (somehow), so hey, it's misogyny.

"free porn videos" - Try redtube or wankdb.  My "Porn" post isn't actually erotica, at least for most people.  If it's erotica for you, well, okay then.  If it looks like a video, you need to cut back on the mushrooms.

No comments:

Post a Comment